Self-Care Saturdays

Or Fridays.

A couple things to address first:

1. Why am I posting this on a Tuesday if the title is "Self-Care Saturdays?"

So that you may prepare and look forward to one night in for you, of course.

2. I want to acknowledge that I find it a wee bit bothersome that "self-care" developed into a trendy phrase to capitalize on our basic human need to listen to our mind and body. However, if #selfcare increases our ability to take care of ourselves, then by all means, hashtag away!

And I digress.

In this post, I talk about some of my favorite self-care stats, how my self-care is a work in progress and the things I do in an attempt to make myself an all around better human (with glowing skin that will ensure bouncers ask for my ID until I'm 90).

I called this post "Self-Care Saturday" because since July, Saturday night developed into my “me-time.” Before grad school, Friday was my day. I would teach the last Yoga Sculpt class at Core Power, aka DC's official pregame. This time constituted as my workout and fulfilled my social engagement needs because my social circle on the East Coast was yoga. I would scoot home, hit up Wise Guy's Pizza (two Sicilian slices known as "the Grandma,"), snag a hot over priced chocolate chip cookie; hit the couch, indulge, watch a show, take a hot shower, and sleep like a baby.

That was my “me-time” and it's what I needed to fulfill 75hr+ workweeks, and teach a ton of yoga classes.

According to The American Institute of Stress (of course that's a thing in America), 77 percent of Americans reported severe symptoms of stress throughout 2017. The majority of stimulants came from job pressure, money issues and the fate of our nation. As someone who started in the work world in DC, these stats could not be more right. 

I ran my first national conference as a 23 year old. I did not eat or sleep for almost a week. I consumed a grand total of 12 Red Swedish Fish. What's worse is I didn't even lose weight! Rude. When it comes to money - duh - I work three jobs right now to afford the lifestyle I want.  One of these days I will actually be able to work smarter rather than harder and enjoy what some strange folk refer to as “weekends.” GASP.  At one point in my life, it may have been cool to overwork for six months for some short-term goal, but the fact that it's become my lifestyle is the complete opposite of self-care and the reason I see a therapist. Don't even get me started on the fate of our nation- with shootings, and a president who seems to have no idea what it means to be The President of the Free World there are too many issues to choose from to support or even process.

Face to palm emoji.

In my opinion, “self-care” is about the recognition of stress triggers (basics include complications with basic human needs like food/shelter/financial stability), the understanding we do better when we're better, and taking action.

I know it's hard to take action in a country that only offers an average of 10 vacation days and 13 national holidays per year, but we've got to stand up. Especially women. Not because we're weaker or paid less (although that's annoying and another topic to hit), but because as Cameron Diaz says in "The Holiday," women look haggard when we're stressed and Ethan gets to go on looking cute. That is just cruel. True, but so cruel. Under-eye concealer is expensive and it's not in my budget. I can't be running around looking tired all the time, so what do I do?

Every Saturday night I take a hot bath, drink tea and watch Netflix (yes, all at the same time). Beers are for showers, tea is for baths.  I actually take the time to shave my legs and then moisturize every inch of my body. I paint my nails, throw on a Biore nose strip, listen to a pod cast, let my hair dry naturally, eat pasta and make cookies. It's the perfect meal to go into hibernation mode for the night and carb up for the week ahead. I sometimes also write blog posts, read or go to bed really early. Really early is now 9pm because I'm 29, not 22 when I was proud of hitting the sack before midnight.

Does any of the above actually help? Damn straight it does. I feel like I give a lot of energy to other projects and people; in truth it really runs me ragged. My Self-Care Saturday is not a cure-all, but it does make me feel better.

So while I have one night a week that's just Shley time, what about the daily? What about on a grandeur scale?

First off, I wake up on weekdays to a text from the Daily Shine- it’s a food for thought text that leads to in-depth articles about millennial struggles. I’m not talking about how to confront the cost of avocados, but what to do when you feel lost, or choose worry over wonder. These texts make me feel less alone because if someone created an app for people like me, clearly there is a market.

On days when I work in Denver, rather than agree to teach every yoga class offered, I make sure I have time to take one yoga class a day, unless I’m too tired. I always prioritized money over my self until about a month ago, and you know what I can learn to survive without the extra $35/day.

On other days I try to read a little bit, connect with friends and watch "The West Wing," but rarely do I feel like I get a full-recharge on the daily. A full recharge is something I only experience once every 6-9 months when I work a bunch of 75+ hour work weeks and then either get sick, depressed or just too exhausted to carry on as “normal.”  I take a week or three off from real-life and go stay at my parents. 

While lovely that my parents have an open-door policy, the above life style is not sustainable. So I am very proud that Self-Care Saturdays feel like I'm starting to set foot on the right path. 

Now let's talk about a sustainable self-care plan. We can read all the self-help books we want, and Netflix and Chill for a month straight, but the goal is of course two other big buzzwords in millennial life: sustainability and balance.

Through therapy I've finally acknowledged the caveats of my lifestyle. I have been told so many times by friends and employers in one way or another that I am in inconsistent. I am an all-or-nothing kind of gal.' Now that might be a cool phrase to put on a Nike tee, but it's not a great way to live life. 

My therapist and I traced my lifestyle choices back to high school. I played sports competitively nine months out of the year, held a 3.9 GPA (damn pre-calc holding me back from the perfect 4.0), life guarded and babysat. All the while trying to survive a suburban American high school. This was as a 16 year old. At the time it felt normal. Most of my friends were in the same boat. I was also 16 and had a lot of energy. But I remember the meltdowns before a big exam because I was too tired to concentrate. On nights when I didn't have a match or a meet, I would take what I called "hoodie nights." I'd put on my biggest potential college sweatshirt and watch TV for hours while snacking on everything from the pantry. 

After Freshmen year of college, I did well to take care of myself. American university schedules are the greatest thing of all time. Sixteen actual hours of in-class time, a few work hours here and there, naps in the middle of the day, huge Big-10 gym access and grocery bills fronted by parents established a recipe for success. 

But then I entered what's known as the big scary real world where I worked 9am-6pm+ and collapsed the moment I got home. I gained weight, worked for an evil woman, cried to my parents on the weekly and could not take care of myself.

Enter yoga, which truly helped establish a supportive community and somewhere I wanted to be after work hours - but then I started down this troublesome pattern I'm still trying to break called "work my ass off, take a few weeks off, repeat."

Ummm that really only works for people who are lifers for political campaigns. They're not exactly the epitome of health with their diet of beer, pizza, no sleep and the stress a 50/50 chance of not having a job every other November.

Right now Self-Care Saturdays represent my taking baby step towards 24-7 self-care. More than just Korean face masks and Urban Outfitter bath bombs go into it of course – such as better communication with friends, family and my boyfriend, sticking to financial goals and even getting a trim every eight weeks so I look less like a frazzled Ms. Frizzle and more like the curly goddess I know I can be. BUT IT IS A START.

I also recommend subscribing to Girl's Night In. 

I know everyone has their own self-care regimens and I'd love to hear yours! Is it scrolling through gram looking at cute puppies? (That's a blackhole for me) Is it pedicures on Sunday mornings with your best friends? Movie night with your SO? Baking? LMK!