What Is My Life?

Sunset at Riomaggiore, Italia. Taken 5 June, 2018

Ah, the question I most often think to myself with views like the above, and the question I am most often asked.

In short, my life is a series of theatrical events full of bulldog sightings, yoga classes, panic attacks and travel.  Intermissions between the above include the overindulgence of carbs or completely avoiding carbs. I also work a lot of jobs, actively struggle to find a “real” job, and now manage this forum of hopefully entertaining life stories. 

At 16, I was stranded in a basil field in Milan. By 25, I’d worked for DC’s less well dressed version of Meryl Streep’s character in “The Devil Wears Prada.  At present, I’m on day 19 of a 45 day trip with my boyfriend across the US, Italy, Portugal and Ohhh Canada! My boyfriend, Wilbur (yep, he’s real) and I met in October and moved in together after eight weeks of dating. Like my mom always says, “when you know, you know.” Except I don’t think she knew we’d move across the country together after eight weeks of dating…

This is Wilbur. He encourages my carb consumption, but also comes to my yoga classes. Life is all about balance, right?

 As of today, I’ve called six countries home, speak a few languages and am deeply conflicted when it comes to cheering for teams in the FIFA World Cup. Carmen San Diego was my idol as a child. I became a traveler because I wrote my grandmother’s biography for English class. She stated her greatest regret in life was not traveling. I decided I needed to see the world and voila, here we are: living my best and brokest life.

More about specific adventures in posts to come!

My life is a little insane. Born and raised in the Midwest- the special place in America that embraces Carb Culture – I am the product of two Saints who do not finance my wanderlust life style.  I give them a heart attack on a monthly basis like that one time they called me at 7am on a Saturday because my Spanish teacher from high school received a ransom note regarding my alleged kidnapping from Spain.

They called to make sure I hadn’t left the country without telling them and my mom noted: “you usually call first.”

Spoiler alert! I was safe and sound in my little bed, but I was pretty pissed to find out my kidnappers only asked for $300K – with this million dollar smile? In the words of Stephanie Tanner, how rude?!

The Saints themselves: Cheryl and John.

When people ask me what is my life, I usually smile and reflect on how flipping lucky I am, but also think it’s important that I get into the nitty gritty. We all know real life isn’t what we post on the gram.

My life is unstable – financially and physically. I have two of everything and I spend a lot of time in line and online.  For anyone who thinks global galavanters like myself are minimalists you are sadly mistaken. I would like to say I just pack-up and go, but all of my trips are carefully calculated. I do not lead the Pinterest version of a wanderlust millennial with a world map wrist tattoo, wear boho chic dresses and camp in the desert.  I have been on team indoor plumbing since inception and I do not foresee that ever changing.

When it comes to travel, I calculate everything from financial risk, efficiency and time. Although I did leave all my shit in Switzerland after grad school, convinced I’d have a job there soon.  Low and behold 76 job applications later (I keep a Google Spreadsheet), I had to fly back in November so I’d have a winter wardrobe. 

The irony of where I’m at in life right now is that I chose my grad program, the FIFA Master, so I could have a stable job in the sports industry.

Ah yes, when I was still optimistic I'd be employed after grad school...either way I still had the best group though and even though I'm slightly bitter and unemployed, I am now slightly bitter, unemployed and well-versed in international sports media rights. 

Jokes.

Post grad, I had three goals:

1)   Full-Time Job with 75K salary

2)   Provided Healthcare

3)   A one-bedroom apartment.

LOL.

I currently work three part times jobs, am grateful for Obamacare and live in a four- bedroom house with my boyfriend and three other dudes.

This is why I go to therapy.

So if you’re wondering how in the heck I, Ashley Carmen San Diego Hughes, semi-broke millennial, can finance 45 days of travel knowing I do not yet have a full-time job here are the answers:

1.     Side Hustles

2.     Vacation Time

3.     Credit Cards Rewards

4.     Rent Control

5.     Home Cooked Meals, Public Transit and Netflix

Look I work three part-time jobs and average 65/hrs/week. I know a lot of my friends work 80 hour weeks, but I’m not paid enough to be ok with that. Heck I commute 1hr 45 minutes on my days off to nanny and teach yoga.  But with side hustles, come perks like no mandatory vacation stipulations.

Vacation Time is where America really, and I mean really gets it wrong. I mean, we got it really wrong when we (America, not me) elected Donald, but America’s vacation policies have been wrong for decades. There is no excuse America!

Ten Days accrued vacation? Cruel.

France is over there giving out 25 vacation days, 13 bank holidays, unlimited sick days andddd they strike at least once a month. America is over here like Rihanna’s hit “work work work work work” is the theme song to life. Gross. Honestly, if and when I become President of the United States, (2024 friends), I will run on the campaign platform for more vacay time.

 As for credit cards – learn to make your money work for you. I use Amex Delta Platinum and Chase Reserve- it affords me free food in airport lounges, one annual companion pass anywhere in the US, and four international trips and counting.  Get rewarded for your spending habits.

Rent control – we rented out all the rooms in our house in Colorado, which lowered our rent immensely – it’s part of how we’re able to afford this current 45-day adventure.

Netflix and Chill is the move. – Let’s be real, I’m 29 and hangovers are real. Well drinks make me want to wish my life a way and beer makes my abs look like they’ve never even held a 30 second plank. I can make most fancy food at home, and I’d rather spend money on adventures than a night out.

While the last few bullet points make me out to be financially savvy, I do have one major vice: bougie fitness classes. Lucky for moi, my friends are also the type of people to whom you ask “what do you do for fun?” and they respond with: “squats.” So it’s pretty easy to facilitate some free classes at new studios and the whole yoga teacher thing means I get free yoga at CPY all over the country.

This.is.my.life.
 

I will also openly admit that my life has made me pretty damn poor.

I define “poor” in my “Who Am I” post, but allow me to reiterate that I eat avocado toast, wear lulu lemon and go to Soul Cycle, but society and my parent’s generation says I should be able to put a downpayment on a house or car by now.

I really wish I could do those things and more, like help pay my parents mortgage so they could officially retire, but here we are.

Truth be told,  by September 2017, I truly thought I’d have a full-time in Europe where they offer a total of four weeks vacation so I could balance out my life with a stable income and  necessary adult needs like a sectional sofa, but no dice.

So until then, I will continue to prioritize travel (helps when your friends live in cool places and then invite you to weddings in said cool places too) and apply to jobs.

Heck, maybe the stars will align and I’ll get a job that pays for me to not only travel, but even affords me a car service to the airport so I never again have to lug a 50lb suitcase up a series of old metros sans escalators or elevators.

Since a lot of people have asked me to teach them my ways- now that you know the challenges, here’s how it’s done:

Financially, I think of expenses in terms of travel. Five pairs of lulu lemon yoga pants = 1 flight to London. Ten nights out in DC (ubers, drinks, dinner, wine influenced online purchases – Kara, I’m lookin’ at you) could equate a week in Hawaii.

I also have friends all over the world who are kind enough to let me stay with them for free. In return, I try to bring them thoughtful gifts or make them American style brunch because who doesn’t love waffles? I only hope one day I can live somewhere cool enough to return the favor.

I prioritize travel. Some people save for the latest handbag or season tickets to sports. Me? I’d rather go to one club soccer match in Europe, or buy that handbag from Milan.  (I usually buy one investment piece per trip – a nice pair of shoes, designer shades, a dress I’ll wear forever etc).

I also move back in with my parents from time to time. Right after college I moved in for six months, worked a ton and then went to Europe for three months. After my stint working at the World Cup, I sublet my apartment in DC the rest of summer and lived with them.  My parents do not finance my life, but they do allow me to live rent-free and buy me organic spinach, which is pretty flipping nice.

Like I said, John and Cheryl are saints.

In all my experiences traveling, I have learned that things never go as planned and as a yoga teacher I am taught to accept and embrace the present. However, I am type A and neither of those concepts truly resonates with me, which is partially why a lot of my adventures are hilarious.

I find unbeatable circumstances. Like that time Easy Jet canceled my flight from Paris the day of my final presentation in Berlin…I was convinced I could fix the airplane myself and after causing a scene had to sit next to an Air Marshall. I’m not proud, but in hindsight it had to be fun to watch. Me yelling in a combination of English, broken French, German and Italian at five a.m. in Paris…it was a sight.

 That day I was the reason American travelers say they’re from Canada.

Outside of financial instability, I’m also physically unstable. I work out all the time, but when I travel I have this motto of “welp, I never know when I’ll be back so stuff my face.” Then I end up back six months later and repeat. This is why my weight yo-yos 20 lbs every year and why yoga pants are in fact, a Godsend.

So in sum, my life is awesome-  I mean I’m in my second home with my awesome boyfriend, eating “worth-it” calories. But I also know the day I’m back in the US, I will probably work 55 days straight. So to anyone who doesn’t think they can live a life like this- you 100 can, but it’s also important to know it’s not all puppies and rainbows.

Most importantly, the way this lifestyle works is with support. I swear I get a natural serotonin boost when someone asks about my life, I tell them and they say “that’s so cool.” Honestly, that’s all the middle-schooler in me ever wanted to hear. I have incredible parents, friends and boyfriend – all of whom either lead a similar path, genuinely value travel, the international experience or athletisure. 

My bffs from Freshmen year of college. Sofia, JoAnna, Toni, Laura and Moi. Sofia is the friend that will marry a prince and invite you to drink champagne on her husbands yacht. JoAnna survived a TBI after not one, but two cars hit her. She's always been an overachiever. Toni is on a world tour with two bands and Laura is a public defender bad ass. 

Hope you enjoyed this post, feel free to leave comments – preferably positive ones.

More content coming soon!